MRS WILKIE knocks on the headmaster’s door.
MOSLEY: Come in.
WILKIE: Good afternoon, Mr Mosley. I’m here about –
MOSLEY: Good afternoon. Please, have a seat.
She sits, reluctantly.
What can I do for you, Mrs Wilkie?
WILKIE: I’m here to talk about my son’s expulsion, Mr Mosley.
MOSLEY: Right, of course.
WILKIE: I don’t think you’re being entirely reasonable.
MOSLEY: I understand you may feel that way.
WILKIE: He needs to be reinstated.
MOSLEY: I’m afraid that won’t be possible, Mrs Wilkie.
WILKIE: And why’s that?
MOSLEY: I’m sure you’re aware of the regulations against reinstating students expelled from Rooks’. They’re written in the student handbook.
WILKIE: That’s ridiculous.
MOSLEY: It’s true, I’m afraid. The student handbook does not lie.
WILKIE: You’re the headmaster. You could make an exception.
MOSLEY: I might, for an exceptional student.
WILKIE, hopeful: So, does that mean –?
MOSLEY: Oh, no, no, Mrs Wilkie. I am very sorry, but that is not what I meant.
WILKIE: But you know how bright he is! He was top of the class in his primary school. One of the best students in the entire school.
MOSLEY: And where has this wunderkind gone?
WILKIE: Home, thanks to you. Did you know my son used to receive awards? He hasn’t since he’s been enrolled here. Why do you think that is, Mr Mosley?
MOSLEY: Mrs Wilkie –
WILKIE: I think it’s because you don’t appreciate him. Oh, I know he has a certain way of expressing himself, and his forthright attitude can be intimidating to those who lack the proper authority, but we are still paying a lot of money for him to attend. The least you could do is take notice of his talents and appreciate him for who he is! His old school – a larger school, mind you – gave him far more individual attention. I think that’s it. I think that’s really what he’s lacking here.
MOSLEY, with strained patience: Whatever his past successes may have been, the fact is that your son is not a good fit for this school, nor the school for him.
WILKIE: I believe his family should be deciding what’s a good fit for him, and not some man who hardly knows him.
MOSLEY: I know this school, and I know your son has not been showing appropriate school behaviour.
WILKIE: Children misbehave sometimes. You don’t expel a child just because of a few moments of bad judgment.
MOSLEY, in realisation: Mrs Wilkie, has your son told you exactly why he was expelled?
WILKIE: Yes. It’s this school. From his first day at Rooks’, you’ve had it out for him. I used to think he might have been exaggerating, but now I see it’s all true. He’s never had the support of the teachers or the other staff.
MOSLEY: Mrs Wilkie, your son was caught distributing crack cocaine to the other students.
WILKIE: Don’t be absurd.
MOSLEY: We would have called the police, but we didn’t want to raise a fuss.
WILKIE: Mr Mosley, I understand you dislike my son, but that’s no reason to invent these ridiculous accusations just to get rid of him.
MOSLEY: Believe me, I wish it weren’t true just as much as you do. You have no idea the headache your son has caused me.
WILKIE: Headache! See? You people talk about him like he’s a disease.
MOSLEY: I’m not sure my words are getting through to you. Mrs Wilkie, your son could have been in a lot worse trouble than expulsion. The only reason he wasn’t arrested is because we decided not to involve the police.
WILKIE: Oh, I suppose I should be grateful.
MOSLEY: Possibly.
WILKIE: He’s a good boy. He wouldn’t do that.
MOSLEY: I am sorry, but you’re going to have to accept that it’s true. Frankly, I’m astonished you weren’t informed of this earlier. Susanne was supposed to have called you.
WILKIE: Well, that goes to show what a quality institution this is. All I get is my son coming home early and telling me he’s been expelled!
MOSLEY: Mrs Wilkie, I apologise. You should have been informed.
WILKIE: And why wasn’t I informed? Did it slip your mind? Or were you too busy ignoring the needs of your students to call me?
MOSLEY: Mrs Wilkie, I do apologise for the mistake. I don’t know what Susanne was doing, but I will have words with her.
WILKIE: Oh, you’ll have words! Oh, I’m sure that’ll be tremendously useful!
MOSLEY: Mrs Wilkie. Your nose is running. Would you like a tissue?
He offers her a tissue from the box.
WILKIE: No!
She takes the entire box.
MOSLEY: Oh… All right.
WILKIE, blowing her nose: Mr Mosley… you didn’t call the police?
MOSLEY, attempting warmth: No, Mrs Wilkie, I did not.
WILKIE, sniffling: Isn’t that a criminal offense?
MOSLEY: …What?
WILKIE: If you know a crime’s being committed, isn’t covering it up just as bad as committing it in the first place?
MOSLEY: What are you on about?
WILKIE: Do the other parents know their children were buying drugs from my son?
MOSLEY: Of course not!
WILKIE: It’d be a shame if someone found out, that’s all.
MOSLEY: Are you… attempting to blackmail me? You realise that is a statutory offence –
WILKIE: Is it? Who are you going to tell?
MOSLEY: But –
WILKIE: Mr Mosley, I want my son reinstated.
MOSLEY: Are you being serious right now?
WILKIE: If you don’t reinstate him today, I will be more than serious.
MOSLEY: What are you going to do? Call the police, tell them, “Oh hello officer, my son is a drug dealer”?
WILKIE: Unlikely. But I might let the other parents know just what their children have been up to at school.
MOSLEY: You realise this would destroy what tatters are left of your son’s reputation?
WILKIE: What reputation? Everyone already thinks he’s a delinquent, thanks to you –
MOSLEY: He is a delinquent!
WILKIE: – But if the other parents were to find out what you’ve allowed to happen at this school – without even notifying the police! – I’m sure it’s not my son’s reputation that would be in question.
MOSLEY, after a few moments: I hope you understand that I will remember what happened today, and I will not tolerate the slightest misstep from your son ever again. A single hair out of place, and he will be gone. Permanently. Publicly.
WILKIE: Can I take that as confirmation of my son’s continued attendance at Rooks’?
MOSLEY: …Yes.
WILKIE: Good. And I want him to receive one-on-one tutoring while he’s here.
MOSLEY: That is not an option.
WILKIE: Are you sure about that? Shall I ask the other parents and see what they think?
MOSLEY: We do not have the time to individually tutor your spoiled monster of a child.
WILKIE: I would be more careful with my choice of words. And I’m sure you can spare an hour or two after class. That’s not really asking much, is it? After all, we both want my son to do his absolute best, don’t we?
MOSLEY: And what reason am I supposed to give the teachers for this sudden change of policy?
WILKIE: I’m sure Susanne can think something up. She certainly isn’t using her time for anything else. Honestly, it’s the least she could do at this point. You should be thanking me for giving her a real job.
MOSLEY: I would tread a little more lightly if I were you, Mrs Wilkie.
WILKIE: Funny. I was going to say the same to you. I expect that means you agree that my son deserves individual attention? I won’t brag about it to the other parents, if that’s what you’re worried about. In any case, I fully expect to be given a schedule of when my son’s after-school tutoring will take place – I need to plan around his school schedule, as I’m sure you know most parents do – and I would like to be given this schedule by the end of the week.
MOSLEY: Ha! And I suppose you want Susanne to email it to you herself?
WILKIE: What a brilliant idea! See what you can come up with when you put some effort into it?
MOSLEY considers her request.
MOSLEY, with a hint of threat: …Very well, Mrs Wilkie. Entrust your son’s future to us. We will do our utmost. The very best that we can.
WILKIE, superior, mistaking his tone for grudging compliance: That’s wonderful. Thank you, Mr Mosley. See you at parent’s evening.
Ana Kosic 